Month 27: Finding Compromise & Happy

So this month was a good month. Not because I dropped the extra 5-10 lbs I’ve been carrying for the last few months due to some not so great eating – that definitely did not happen – or because I smashed 20 workouts in 35 days (with #21 set for today)… it was because I feel I finally came to a mental happy compromise.

I slipped up Starbucks wise this month BIG time (shhh.. don’t tell my son as he still only got it once!). I averaged 2 per week instead of the 1 per month I’ve been good at the last couple months. It made me happy though. I met with friends or treated myself and it felt good. I know it’s not good for me and I won’t continue at this pace, but what it did make me realize is that I am happy being social. I am happy at events with food and people I love. I do not want to say no to things and I don’t want to bring my own salad to participate in everything. Starbucks is like my wine (I don’t do wine!). Sure it might mean I’m working my butt off with workouts to maintain, and I’m carrying 5-10 lbs extra, but it is the holidays. I am going to enjoy myself with a goal of maintenance (yes that means there is still some sort of moderation filter) but I’m definitely eating that turkey, stuffing (and more stuffing), Christmas cookies and pudding and the like. The festivities have already started this past month and they’ll be straight through to the new year.

I think I’ve always wanted to be this healthy zero fat super skinny but fit girl. Not too skinny. Not too muscular. I’ve never been all at once. The fitter I am the more muscular I seem to be and the skinnier I get the less healthy I look. I still always have some extra padding no matter what the scale has said (even at 105 lbs). I’m working to redefine what I want to be after this month. I’ve been working on it for a while, but I have yet to nail it down. I have done away with the scale for the most part (tiny confession below) and I do not diet. I know I’m not there yet but I haven’t decided where I’m headed. This journey is a life long one, so I will always be working towards a new better improved happier healthier me. What I do know is that Royally Fit workouts are here for me for life. These workouts work for me and keep me sane!

Photos below show me still in the goal small itty bitty short shorts. I wanted to rock these by this month and although I am not as I imagined I would be, I am still pushing hard, which is rocking in my world anyway 🙂

Scale confession. I’ve been struggling with the where I want to be for a while. If you follow along with my journey the last two months probably have made that kind of clear. The struggle is with food most especially as I tend to have a lot of engagements around food but then I also throw some days away after already treating myself, because I already ate bad. So I wanted to really experiment this month and see where I was. I weighed myself at the beginning and end of the month (5 weeks elapsed). I did not eat stellar, probably my second worst month this year, endured a little stress with holiday preparation (finished yesterday though!), my Grandpa in the hospital (hello some of those Starbucks pick me ups, I can attribute 4 here… good news he came home Friday). The number is the EXACT same this morning.  It is 6.5 pounds higher than the lowest I’ve even been during my Royally Fit journey (well recorded as I do not weigh myself often). I’m pretty sure I’ve been sitting here for some time based on clothes, how I feel, etc. I’ve got this maintenance thing it seems. Goal is to keep at the maintenance this month as well and enjoy myself in between the good food and maybe get a little tighter in the new year.

So here I am. A little squishy (well no squishier than I have been for a few months),  happy and ready to enjoy the holidays.

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