My Tea Date

So this might sound odd, but tonight I am pretending to have a tea date with my Nanny. I dropped my son off at a birthday party and I am sitting at Tim Horton’s. I have ordered fairy pee (what my Nanny called my green tea) and her favourite donut. She isn’t here with me as she is laying in a hospital bed slowly letting go.

I just spent time with her and talked to her straight for over an hour. She didn’t wake and I was sad but I still told her stories and memories that were my favourite. Prior to this I had spent 4 days awake trying to be by her side for the end. I was going delusional and physically sick from the lack of sleep.

If there is a tomorrow for her I will go again and do the same. As I left I thought about what she would want. She would want me to do my best to be strong. She would want me to carry through on all my current initiatives and do what I do best – spread positivity. She would want me to smile and be happy.

She would know that life is going to be tough for me for a while. She would know this because she knows how much I love her and how much she means to me. Despite this, she would want me to learn to cope and pick myself up. To be strong for my family who will also feel the pain from the loss of someone magnificent.

I’m having ups and downs. I’m struggling. I’m feeling emotions that most of us could only feel once we knew love. I also know she’d like me to eat this donut for her, being one of her most favourite treats, and think about the good times. So on our little tea date she really is with me, it’s just in my heart ♡

6 Comments

Leave a comment
  • So sweet. My grandma passed away 19 years ago in April. I still find myself going to call her as I talked to her everyday. She was an extroidinary person and I still have many fond memories of our summers at the cottage and her funny stories about my dad and my aunt and uncle. Brace yourself this will be hard for a while, but I hope you find comfort and smiles in all she has left u! I will be thinking of u. Stay strong

  • <3 I never know the right things to say in these moments but I know you know I'm here for you. I feel so awful you are going through this right now. I know how close you two are and how hard this has been on you. Sending you loads of virtual hugs.

    • Thank you. I know you are there for me. To be honest, I’m not even sure about my feelings as they are changing by the moment. I’m happy to sad to tears in just a few seconds. It is an unfortunate learning experience about the facts of life.

  • MY BELOVED MUM PASSED AWAY LITERALLY IN MY ARMS 5 1/2 YEARS AGO. THAT DAY, SHE WENT THE WAY SHE ALWAYS SAID SHE WANTED TO GO, IN HER SLEEP. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND, AND I WAS SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SPEND TIME WITH HER EVERY DAY FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS OF HER LIFE……I WAS HER NURSE 24 HOURS A DAY FOR PART OF IT…….I TALK TO HER ALL THE TIME, AND HEAR HER VOICE THROUGH MY OWN……MAY YOU BE COMFORTED BY ALL THOSE WARM MEMORIES YOU HOLD SO DEAR AND CLOSE TO YOUR HEART…..HUGS FROM OSHAWA.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Site Created By That's So Social

Copyright © 2015. Mom Cafe Ontario